Thursday, November 3, 2011

#98 - The Purse

The other day, my husband and I were walking through the store and I shifted my purse from one shoulder to the other. This simple move brought back a flood of memories of the year I had been diagnosed with Addison's disease. That year, I did not have the strength to carry a purse.

Of course, I'd lived my entire girly life carrying some sort of purse or another. The sudden illness and exorbitant weakness made my purse feel like a sack of boulders. For all my years, until Addison's disease, I didn't even notice the purse hanging from my shoulder or a baby bag looped to my arm or a huge purse that held everything a toddler or small child could desire as a distraction.

But, suddenly I found my purse to be unmanageable. However, I did not have the adaptation yet to quit carrying it. Insistently, I would bring it with me, like everything was normal, yet my situation was far from normal. Since walking around was a struggle, having to carry a purse was like pushing myself further into the sinking sand of weakness. I would end up in a horrible struggle with my stupid purse.

Many times my husband ended up carrying my purse. He never complained about my continued denial to face facts pertaining to the purse. Actually, I never asked him to carry it, and I never wanted him to carry it, but he would go into authority mode and slip it off my shoulder to effortlessly hold it in his hand as we walked along together. I'd argue, "Give it back to me; I can carry my own purse." He would just look at me with a pleasant expression and refuse to hand it over...he never worried about his masculinity or his image. This man is completely at ease with his manhood and I think he'd not even give a flip if anyone dared to say a word about him carrying a purse...actually, they'd dare not.

I don't think many people would approach a Deputy Sheriff to ask him about the black purse at his side. He always cracked me up though. He would put the purse on his arm and with the same arm, he'd hold my hand. At times, I guess it looked as if we were co-carrying the purse.

So, this past week as I was walking around the store, I realized that I have much more strength to be able to carry around a little old purse all by give my purse it's due justice, it's a Makowsky. For those of you who don't know about this brand of purse, you should know that it is a lot of fun to carry around, kind of like the souped-up-Porche of purses.

Doing "normal" things, such as carrying a purse is something I do not take forgranted. If you confront times of challenge that slap you in the face with shocking changes in your abilities, such as not being able to do something minuscule, it is wonderful to re-discover such little independent pleasures!


  1. You've reminded me of the day I got my diagnosis. I had been to my doctor's office earlier that day and had some blood taken. Evidently the staff there had been concerned enough that they ordered the results under urgency, so at about 7.30 that night I got a phonecall to say my doctor thought I had Addison's, and that I was to get to our local hospital's emergency department immediately. There are 46 steps and a couple of paths from our house up to the road, and for a few weeks I'd been taking those steps ten at a time, stopping to rest. Somehow that night I made my way the whole way up, carrying a backpack with hospital stuff in it, with my husband. Somehow it didn't occur to either of us that he help me! Half an hour later I'd had my first shot of Solucortef, and was experiencing a miracle recovery (in truth I was as high as a kite). That seems such a long time ago now!

  2. Pip --- Sounds like a close call for you with diagnosis! I know it's weird how we keep trying to do our normal things while crazy circumstances surround us. I guess that's part of the reason we're able to keep going.

    I'm so glad they discovered it in time and that you got the meds quickly. I hope you are doing well now.



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