Monday, August 19, 2013

# 142 - A Condensed Life

It's been a while since I've written in this blog. Over the past few months we've been overwhelmed with moving from the city to the country. Our lives have drastically changed, for the better. However, the change has not come without huge sacrifices.

We sold our home in the Greater Houston area that was almost 3,000 square feet and came to the acreage we've owned since our kids were small, temporarily living in an RV until we can decide upon a homesite and finalize our house plans.

Each step along the way is tedious, expensive, hard-work, and nerve-wracking because we must make every little decision. In the city, every little thing is taken care of for you. But, that's also part of the big fun of living in the country, it's one adventure after another.

In Texas, it gets very hot in August. As for my Addison's disease management, that can be difficult. Since we've had back to back happenings for months that are highly stressful, it can take a toll. Last week, I fell down the stairs of our new deck that has been built against our RV. The pain that it caused from the bruise of my hip bone and spine became a problem for my Addison's --- round and round we go during times like these.

Increasing my Hydrocortisone dosages helped. Somewhat.

When I have things happen, such as this fall, I tend to withdraw and need more time to myself, as if I need to cope with my struggle, in privacy.

However, for some reason, I am going through a phase of needing extra solitude in my life. Perhaps it's because I have come to a close of raising two daughters --- twenty-five years of solid parental involvement wiped me out a tad. Even though the day to day parenting duties have faced, we have a lot of wonderful things happening right niece came to stay for a week long visit with us in the country, my oldest daughter and her husband are expecting their first baby within days, which will be my first grandbaby,

and my youngest daughter just graduated from college on August 9th.

Life has been jam-packed with event after event for months.

I am so excited that my oldest daughter, Heather, is about to become a mother, but I do get this deep sadness at knowing the distance we live from each other will make seeing our her and our grandbaby more difficult.

...we all have our daily responsibilities and my husband's job is demanding. That's the way life goes.

And to be going through the pain that my fall down the stairs has caused makes me feel physically and emotionally drained. I'm a gal who pushes past the pain to get things done; I've been through some major physical ordeals that included some of the highest levels of pain a person can endure, but I still feel down and out when I have an added hurdle, such as this fall that is causing this nagging hip pain. I feel a bit bummed out because today it appears that I took a downturn into the land of hurt again; I am beginning to realize that my hip is more injured than I wanted to believe. It frustrates me.

Regardless, the excitement over all the changes in our lives at this time is immense, but the difficulty that comes with making a massive leap into country life is a definite stressor. And sadly, less than a month after our move to the peaceful country, my husband's 22 year old nephew was brutally murdered, on Father's Day. That tragedy, along with my dad's ongoing cancer battle that includes multiple rounds of chemo for a cancer that is known for unfavorable statistics has often found me fighting deep sadness.

In a direct effort to bring balance into my life and to push away the pain that life can bring, some evenings, if my husband is at work, I do whatever I can outside, usually something with my plants or with landscaping.

To get me going, I turn on some music. Our RV has a great outdoor speaker system, so I put on Country Classics and experience great nostalgia to go along with the making of a few new memories.

I listen to some of my favorite old country songs while I sing to the trees using a broom stick as a microphone to join Loretta Lynn, and I might even dance a bit on the deck. Mostly, I feel free and wonderful.

No matter what, I am still in disbelief that we actually left the city and moved to the rural country.

I will keep trying to enjoy and to savor every good moment that life can provide or that I can produce with a good attitude as I also confront hard things in life.

Sometimes we have to live on purpose --- not just wander through life, we have to do things on purpose to give us balance. I'm working on that a bit more right now. It's what we all must do, live as best we can, always trying to counteract the hard times with a bit of beauty and joy. Thank God that He gives me plenty of both beauty and joy to focus upon.