Monday, February 20, 2012

# 111 - Borrowed Strength

The "For Sale" sign has officially gone up in our yard today. We're selling our house and moving from the city to the country. Actually, we're moving to our acreage deep in the woods, so we'll be building a country cabin, and I can't wait.

After over 25 years of marriage, with the untold ups and downs of anyone who has made it to this number of years married (that still makes my eyes pop out) I am thankful that Deputy Dave and I have found such a good place with each other, we're all grown up now! Well, mostly. There's still a kid in each of us and we like it that way. It keeps things fresh and fun when you are ready to laugh and cut up, just a bit.

We got married so young that we unfortunately had to do some growing up while married. Mostly, that part of the learning process as a couple had to do with truly putting another's needs before your own. However, the "love" part of the equation never wavered and only grew stronger through the years. Our hurdles proved that the willingness to make it through anything together is the attitude we need to embrace.

So many people do not have someone to stand by them during hard times. I definitely stood by my husband through some of his darkest moments, and he, in turn, not only stood by me during mine, but he also lifted me, literally, out of my circumstances. During the long period of time that I had been weakening from Addison's disease, but without the diagnosis, he refused to let me give up. When I had been too weak to walk, he'd stand behind me, he'd wrap his arms around me and put my feet on his and we'd "walk" together.

Yes, I had grown that weak. I had gotten to the point to where I could no longer stand on my own, at least not for any meaningful amount of time, or I would pass out. He physically supported me so that I would not fall; his arms looped around me and held me firmly against him so that I would not be afraid of my legs failing me. And, to the bathroom we'd go. Such excitement!

In every way, he shared his strength with me when I was weak. I've learned that few people will actually do that for you on a deep level. In times of need, borrowed strength can indeed bolster and comfort you.

For too long, the doctors could not find an answer. The "Chronic Low Blood Pressure" and "Chronic Low Sodium" were close, but the answer remained elusive for enough time to pass and make me one very ill woman on the verge of death, too many times. I had been hanging by a thread, but it was frayed.

By the time I had the "big answer" hospital stay that finally led to a lot of testing and my body causing a "Code Blue" to be called...I was too weak to even go to testing without being wheeled there on a gurney, forget sitting in a wheelchair, I'd progressed to not only being unable to stand, I could no longer sustain consciousness while sitting. I could not raise my head from a laying position or I'd be out like a light...I didn't even have enough blood pressure left in me to hold up my head. Things were bad.

But, as exhausted as my husband had been for months, he did a great job of remaining loving and supportive. I look back on all the senseless things we've gone through in our marriage, and we all know, my fellow women, that those "senseless" things are normally the man's fault, funny or humorless, but true. For my male readers, I am sure you are the exception to the rule. :-)

Today, it is beautiful to also look back on all of the on-purpose, determined, loving, strong things that I've seen my husband do for me in my times of greatest need...he did not let me down.

It is my hope that you will also have someone in your life to love you and to understand you through your trials and tribulations. I do believe that by sharing the burdens of another, we help lighten their load, as if we are helping to absorb their suffering. And when it comes time for the tables to turn, I sure hope that others will be willing to do the same for us. Even if relationships aren't perfect, and I have a newsflash, there are ZERO out there that are perfect, I hope that every one of my readers has a good relationship with someone who matters to them and who makes the spinning world less of a bumpy ride.

So, the husband and I are progressing to the next phase in our lives, which is being empty-nesters and selling the big house that has way too much room for the two of us to be rattling around in. Since we started in life together so young...we are still very young. At least we're not sitting around waiting for the next disaster, we're plugging along.

It will be wonderful to move to our acreage and to be surrounded by nature. This has been a lifelong dream for both of us. My husband was always a farmer down deep. I think he was born to work the land, to raise livestock and to operate some piece of big machinery.

Moving from our house in the city will mean that we'll no longer have to worry about climbing these winding stairs. They're beautiful, but having a two-story house has been difficult for me, very difficult. We won't be building another two-story, that is for sure.

Moving to the country will also mean that we can quit worrying about our backyard chickens having too small of a space to roam around. Yes, they are free-ranging chickens who get to have access to the entire backyard, but I will feel better once they have a lot more ground to peck and savor. We give them feed-store chicken feed, but the free-ranging will certainly be more nutritious on our raw acreage.

I've heard that chickens enjoy roaming within a one acre range. I guess we'll see how that works once we are living with a huge front and backyard. That will be a first for us. We've always been suburb/city type of dwellers, but we're very eager to get moved and settled onto our land.

I do believe that being in the country will be good for me. Whether the good Lord grants me five more months or fifty more years, I will surely be healthier with my soul, mind and body being fed such huge daily doses of nature.

We've owned this land for years and everytime we go out there, I feel such a weight come off my shoulders and hearing the wind blow through the trees serves as a magical tranquilizer of some sort, as if I am turning to jello, in a good way, not in an Addison's crisis way! I just feel relaxed, at ease, everything slows down and that's a good thing at this stage of my life.

Private spring-filled lake at our property, you can see a truck parked
in the far left corner, it's a speck. That's for point of reference.
All the rushing, the bustling, the snap-snap hurry up kind of attitude fades away when we're staying on our acreage. And even though I'm sure we'll have some of those kinds of moments, even in the woods, I know it will definitely be a different kind of life.

I'm ready. Now, if we can just sell this house, we can make a fresh start in the country. We are ready.

Camping on our land, like we're kids!
We have the most wonderful times together
while "roughing it."

1 comment:

  1. That is a beautiful looking place. I hope there are fish in that lake/pond. :-} Let's hope that the house sells quick!


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